New Mom Old Mom

I haven’t posted in awhile.  I got too busy.  Here’s the lowdown on my life the past few weeks:

• I found out our baby is breech AND big.  At 32 weeks, the doc was estimating her weight around 4 pounds.   Had an ultrasound at 33 weeks, and she had turned (which I suspected.)  But she measured 5 to 5/12 pounds. 

• I broke my elbow walking up the street from my son’s bus stop. I just tripped and landed on my hands and knees, but must’ve taken the full brunt of the fall in my right elbow (Guess what? I’m right handed). It was my first real broken bone (because I don’t count a toe and a tailbone).   I cried from the pain, but also from the fact that I was 34  weeks pregnant and had a broken arm. The ER put on a hard cast and hung a sling around my neck. That was on Friday.  It was a miserable weekend – I felt so handicapped.  But on Monday, the orthopedic specialist declared that the fracture was very minor and would not heal any faster in a cast.  He said if I were a child, he’d leave on the cast, but as an adult, the mobility is more important. He predicted a full recovery in about three weeks, but said if I fall again, if the pain gets worse, or if I don’t have full range of motion at the end of three weeks, to come back and he’ll do another X-ray.  I could have kissed him when he took that cast off.  The arm is doing better everyday, and as long as I remember not to lift anything heavy, turn a doorknob, etc., I don’t have much pain.

• I went for my 34-week OB visit, and my doc had a hard time finding the baby’s heartbeat. That was a few scary moments.  Then when he found it, it was very faint.  To reassure both of us, he took me back to the ultrasound room, and we discovered that my daughter flipped AGAIN!  So, back to breech position.  This time, I’m not going to worry.  If she can turn once, she can turn again, right?

• I announced at my work today that I’m not returning after my baby is born.  Our senior level account staff already knew this, but the “general population” did not.  Although, I don’t think anyone was surprised.  I stayed home with my first two children for 10 years as a freelancer.  And this is my LAST AT BAT.  So, it’s time to start reaching out to my former freelancing contacts, but I’m hoping my current company will be a main source of that work for me, as they were in the past.

• My 12-year-old daughter started cotillion two weeks ago. She hates it.  At least, she says she hates it.  It was a little awkward, because she wasn’t “asked to dance” in the first round of dancing, so she, along with about 10 other girls, went to the “stag” line to wait their turn.  Needless to say, there are more girls than boys in their session, so this will be a problem each week.  She vacillates between not wanting to be asked to dance, and also not wanting to be sent to the stag line.  I’m so glad I’m not 12! 

• My 9-year-old son started a fall golf league and loves it.  My husband says he’s doing really well.  I hate golf (too slow, frustrating) but am glad he likes it.  It’s safe. It doesn’t matter that he’s small. It’s gentleman-like.  Lots of reasons for a mom to like a sport.  But, he still wants to play football.  At age 9, he’s about 55 pounds.  I’m very opposed to this, but he and Dad keep working on me.  Then, yesterday, a friend/client offered to let my son join his flag football team next year.  I’m considering it, but I know what it will lead to.  My husband keeps saying that my son’s size doesn’t matter – he’s fast and agile and coordinated.  He is fast and agile and coordinated, but brute force still counts for something.  I guess I’ll worry more about that later.

Well, I’m 3 1/2 months from my due date, and today I decided that the right thing to do was to tell my company that I’m not planning to return to work after my maternity leave.  I was a little nervous, because I knew that being honest about this decision would mean that my company would not have to extend maternity leave (short term disability) benefits to me.  But, I felt that in the long run, being honest would work in my favor.

 My plan is to return to my freelance writing career.  It’s how I made a living after the birth of my first child (now 12) and my second (now 9).  In fact, it was a great gig.  I know it will probably take some time to re-build my contacts and network of clients, but I also believe that being honest with my company will assist in that process.  I used to freelance for my current employer, and I hope to do so again.

 Turns out, my vice president assured me that we’d handle the paperwork in such a way that my benefits would remain in place.  And she really appreciated my giving her enough time to plan for my replacement.  I suspect that my decision will result is a lost bonus (we get bonuses in December, and I’m due in late October), but in the long run, I’ll easily make that money up through referrals from what I hope will be a grateful former employer.

Thankfully, my decision to return to “stay at home momhood” after the birth of this baby wasn’t a difficult one.  When I made that decision the first time around (12 years ago), it was tough. I wasn’t sure where I’d fit in; I worried that my husband and I would grow apart because I wouldn’t have anything interesting to contribute to conversations; I thought my professional friends would lose respect for me, and I didn’t really know any other SAHM’s. My fears were unfounded, but it did take me some time to adjust to the role.  I joined a fabulous group, which at the time was called F.E.M.A.L.E. (Formerly Employed Mothers at the Leading Edge).  Now the group is called Mothers & More http://www.mothersandmore.org/AboutUs/history.shtml.  It was a great organization that really helped me embrace my “season” at home. 

 Now, I’d love to find a group for “older moms,” since I think I would feel rather aged among the many playgroups and SAHM’s organizations.  Anyone have any suggestions?  Then again, who knows? Maybe I won’t have time between being the taxi driver for my older children and caring for a newborn.