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A tough reporter no more

January 4, 2009 · Filed under Baby stuff, In the News, Older children, Work · Tagged Christmas tragedy, cops reporter, courts beat, crime beat, freelance writer

I was a newspaper reporter in my former life (my life before kids). I mostly covered the cops and courts beat. My dad was a cop, so the whole crime and punishment thing was a natural for me. I wrote about some serious tragedies, like this one and this one. I interviewed the families of these victims, sometimes within hours of their loved ones’ deaths. I interviewed the family of the man sentenced to death in this case within hours of his arrest. I even met my husband at a memorial service for a police officer killed in the line of duty — I was covering the service for my newspaper. None of this bothered me. It was simply part of my job.

These days, in addition to being a mom, I’m a freelance writer and public relations professional, and I still do some newspaper writing. Even though it doesn’t pay nearly as well as my “corporate” work, reporting was my first love and I want to keep those skills sharp. One of my former newspaper colleagues is now the editor of a local paper in my community, so she sends story assignments my way from time to time. And since she knew me when I was a “tough” cops reporter, she didn’t hesitate to assign me a story about a young woman who was killed in a car accident on Christmas day.

I didn’t hesitate to take the assignment, either — that is, until I had to make the phone call to the young woman’s parents. I was secretly hoping they’d refuse to talk to me, and I’d simply write the story from the police reports with a few quotes from the cops. But not only did these parents agree to talk to me, they insisted I come to their home and talk with several family members and look at pictures of their lovely daughter and really get to know who she was.

I talked with these kind people today. The interview that I dreaded all weekend ended up being a lovely way to spend an hour this afternoon. I got to meet a family that really knows how to celebrate life. I wish I’d known their daughter, because she sounds like she was amazing. Still, doing the interview wasn’t easy. And I might think twice before taking another assignment like this one.

My husband asked me what happened to the tough reporter that he knew all those years ago. I think she died in childbirth.

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Motrin Babywearing Ad/PR Debacle

November 16, 2008 · Filed under Baby stuff, Work · Tagged baby slings, babywearing, mommy bloggers, Motrin, twitter

In case you hadn’t heard — Motrin recently released an ad that blew it on so many fronts. The target audience of the ad seems to be Moms who wear their babies. As a PR professional, I have to wonder if they tested the ad on any Moms who actually wear their babies. As a Mom, I wonder if they tested the ad on any Moms.

Baby-wearing Moms are offended. Moms who used to wear their babies are offended. Moms who never wore their babies are offended. The ad is somewhat condescending. Even worse, it launched during International Babywearing week. In that sense, the ad also managed to be pandering. As this video by Katja Presnal illustrates, Motrin managed to antagonize a lot of people. If you have any doubts, go to Twitter and search for the #motrin conversation.

I wear my baby sometimes. I’ve got a Slingaroo, which I wrote about here. Now I use it for convenience. When she was a newborn, I did it to comfort her. It doesn’t hurt when I put her in there the right way and when I’ve got the sling on properly. And I’ve NEVER used my sling to be “in fashion,” nor have I done it so that I look like an official Mom, or to explain to people why I look “tired and crazy.”

I’m not as fired-up or offended by Motrin’s ad as a lot of other people. I see it as a PR mistake from which to learn. I’m anxious to see what the company does in the coming days to reach out to the mommy bloggers and social media mavens.

****UPDATE – right after I posted, I discovered that Motrin’s PR team is already reacting and taking the ad down.

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Childcare Challenges/Creative Solutions

November 13, 2008 · Filed under Baby stuff, Older children, Work · Tagged childcare, daycare, freelance writer, Moms Day Out

As a “mostly work-at-home” freelance writer/communications consultant, I don’t really have a formalized childcare situation. I have a “quilt-like” childcare situation.

My husband’s schedule puts him home around 1:30 p.m., so I can theoretically work most of the afternoon without having to hire a sitter. (I say theoretically because the older kids start arriving home from school at 2:45 p.m., and there are orthodontist appointments, swim practices and dinners to start, etc). Still, early afternoons, while DB is napping, is probably my most convenient work time because of the built-in childcare (aka Daddy).

Another part of my childcare quilt is my YMCA, which I wrote about here. In short, I can use my Y’s nursery for up to two hours, and the building has wireless Internet access. So, I can run on the treadmill for 30 minutes, and still have about 90 minutes to work on my laptop. However, I’ve discovered that this option has its limitations. For example, one day while I was on the phone with a client, a toddler dance class began gathering a few feet from me in the YMCA lobby. My client could overhear things like “Do you need to go potty before I put on your leotard?” and “Emma, don’t pick your nose” and “Katie is a big girl and doesn’t wear diapers anymore. Don’t you want to be a big girl?” Now I only use my YMCA work time for returning emails and writing.

My favorite square in the childcare quilt is a wonderful woman named Edna. She’s the mother of one of my friends. When I need baby care in the mornings, I call her to see if she’s available. I pay her by the hour, and she’s been helping me out since DB was a few months old. She doesn’t need a set number of hours each week, so it’s a perfect arrangement for both of us. DB loves her. I love her, and I really enjoy our adult chats before and after my work time. She reminds me when there is a grocery coupon in the paper, and she folds laundry and unloads the dishwasher when DB is sleeping. But this fall, she began working two days a week at a Moms’ Day Out program, so she’s unavailable to me on Tuesdays and Fridays. Lately, all my clients seem to need me “in person” on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Thus, I’m adding yet another piece to my childcare quilt. The Moms’ Day Out program where Edna is working has a drop-in option. I can pay the $40 registration fee, and then if I need care on Tuesday or Friday between 9:30 a.m. and 2 p.m., I can call. If they have room, I can drop DB off for $32 per day. I was reluctant to commit to a regular Moms’ Day Out program because I don’t need care at the same time each week. So this is perfect for me — a pay-as-you-go/need option.

Working at home is the best way for me to balance my desire to be home with my baby (as I was for the older two) and also contribute to the family’s finances. Freelancing worked for 10 years while I raised DD and DS, and I hope it will work for another 10 years as I raise DB. I just hope I can continue to find fabric for my childcare quilt as the demands of my writing/communication business expand and change.

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Marketing Myself As a Freelance Writer

October 23, 2008 · Filed under Work · Tagged freelance writer, marketing

Probably the best advice I’ve ever received regarding marketing myself as a writer was to make sure that I share with my clients the nature of the work about which I am passionate.

It’s easy — especially when you’re desperate for work — to present yourself as passionate about whatever work a given client or editor is seeking. But I’ve found that clients and editors appreciate knowing what you LOVE to do. I returned to my freelance life as a writer and communications consultant about one year ago (I freelanced for about 10 years, then returned to the work force for two years, and am now back to freelancing). This time around, I’m admitting a few things to my clients and editors up front: I prefer writing work over media relations (although I’m good at media relations and will do media relations). I enjoy engaging in internal communications strategic planning and writing for my clients’ internal communications channels. I LOVE writing for newspapers and magazines, although the pay doesn’t compete with my corporate work.

Although I accept and enjoy lots of projects outside of my “passion” areas, I find now that I get to do more work in my “passion” areas because I’ve been more forthcoming about those passions. If you’re seeking a freelance writer or communications consultant, check out my Web site at www.michellemcox.com.

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Stay-at-home work-at-home mom makes discovery

October 8, 2008 · Filed under Baby stuff, Work · Tagged child care, stay-at-home mom, work-at-home, YMCA

As a stay-at-home mom who is also a freelance writer (see my Web site), I am always looking for creative ways to get my work done without having to put my DB in daycare. Sometimes, I hire a nanny to come to my home for a few hours here and there to meet a deadline. Sometimes, I work while DB naps in the afternoon and after she goes to bed at night. Sometimes, I work when my husband gets home, since he’s home most afternoons. Sometimes, I combine all of these approaches.

But this week, I found yet another, albeit limited, option — my wonderful YMCA!! At my Y, childcare is included in the cost of membership. I work out most days, either with DB in a jogging stroller, or on the treadmill while she’s at the Y nursery. But I just found out my YMCA is WIRELESS! Whoo hoo! And I can put DB in the nursery for up to two hours as long as I’m on the property. So, yesterday and today, I did a 4-mile run on the treadmill, then fired up my laptop and got some work done. In all, DB was in the nursery for about 90 minutes. It was a perfect system. She likes the nursery. I can see her. She gets some socializing time, which is good since she doesn’t have any siblings who are close in age. And I got a jump on my afternoon work by checking and answering emails.

The email thing worked great. And I think doing some writing would work. But today, I made the mistake of doing a phone call with one of my clients while there. The place was quiet when I initiated the call. But before I was done, some kind of kiddie gym class began and all the moms with youngins were surrounding me and making me appear very unprofessional to my client. My bad. That’s what the Y is for, and I cannot expect it to be a quiet-client-calling-atmosphere. So, I’ll probably have to limit my work to the kind done electronically. That’s okay. I’m excited to have found another option.

Anybody else out there found other child care solutions for work-at-home situations?

Introducing baby

July 14, 2008 · Filed under Baby stuff, Older children, Work · Tagged Ginger

I’m baaack.

And, I broke my promise to myself. I promised I wouldn’t let time slip away from me and fail to keep up with my blog. But, my amazing baby happened to me, and time completely got away. In fact, she’s 8 months old. She’s amazing, and I’d like to introduce her:

Here is my dear baby, to be known herein as DB.

She’s a perfect baby. She smiles all the time and she has brought so much joy to our home. I can’t believe she’s eight months old. I am trying to cherish every moment with her, and doing a pretty good job of it. That’s the greatest joy in doing the baby thing again as an “old mom.” I have the wisdom of knowing how fast it will all go by, and I can remind myself of that whenever I grow tired of some task related to my baby. I wish I could’ve had so much peace with my first two, but that wouldn’t have been possible. I never would have thought that I’d blink and they’d be 13 and 10.

As I write this, my teen, DD, is returning home via bus from a swim meet in Lawrence, KS. I remember a time when I wouldn’t even let her ride in a car with a close friend – heck, I would seldom even let her ride in a car with her own grandparents. And I never would’ve put her in a car with a stranger, let alone on a bus with no seat belts. I admit, that was my quirky thing. I was overboard on it. I still worry about it. But, I’ve had to let go little by little. First, it was the school bus. Then it was carpools to swim practice. Now, it’s bus trips to meets. In a few years, it will be riding in a car with friends who are driving and then – NOOOO – driving herself. I bet I’ll get even less sleep than when DB was a newborn.

From Breech Baby to Broken Elbow, It’s busy Around Here

September 20, 2007 · Filed under Baby stuff, Older children, Work

I haven’t posted in awhile. I got too busy. Here’s the lowdown on my life the past few weeks:

I found out our baby is breech AND big. At 32 weeks, the doc was estimating her weight around 4 pounds. Had an ultrasound at 33 weeks, and she had turned (which I suspected.) But she measured 5 to 5/12 pounds.
I broke my elbow walking up the street from my son’s bus stop. I just tripped and landed on my hands and knees, but must’ve taken the full brunt of the fall in my right elbow (Guess what? I’m right handed). It was my first real broken bone (because I don’t count a toe and a tailbone). I cried from the pain, but also from the fact that I was 34 weeks pregnant and had a broken arm. The ER put on a hard cast and hung a sling around my neck. That was on Friday. It was a miserable weekend – I felt so handicapped. But on Monday, the orthopedic specialist declared that the fracture was very minor and would not heal any faster in a cast. He said if I were a child, he’d leave on the cast, but as an adult, the mobility is more important. He predicted a full recovery in about three weeks, but said if I fall again, if the pain gets worse, or if I don’t have full range of motion at the end of three weeks, to come back and he’ll do another X-ray. I could have kissed him when he took that cast off. The arm is doing better everyday, and as long as I remember not to lift anything heavy, turn a doorknob, etc., I don’t have much pain.
I went for my 34-week OB visit, and my doc had a hard time finding the baby’s heartbeat. That was a few scary moments. Then when he found it, it was very faint. To reassure both of us, he took me back to the ultrasound room, and we discovered that my daughter flipped AGAIN! So, back to breech position. This time, I’m not going to worry. If she can turn once, she can turn again, right?
I announced at my work today that I’m not returning after my baby is born. Our senior level account staff already knew this, but the “general population” did not. Although, I don’t think anyone was surprised. I stayed home with my first two children for 10 years as a freelancer. And this is my LAST AT BAT. So, it’s time to start reaching out to my former freelancing contacts, but I’m hoping my current company will be a main source of that work for me, as they were in the past.
My 12-year-old daughter started cotillion two weeks ago. She hates it. At least, she says she hates it. It was a little awkward, because she wasn’t “asked to dance” in the first round of dancing, so she, along with about 10 other girls, went to the “stag” line to wait their turn. Needless to say, there are more girls than boys in their session, so this will be a problem each week. She vacillates between not wanting to be asked to dance, and also not wanting to be sent to the stag line. I’m so glad I’m not 12!
My 9-year-old son started a fall golf league and loves it. My husband says he’s doing really well. I hate golf (too slow, frustrating) but am glad he likes it. It’s safe. It doesn’t matter that he’s small. It’s gentleman-like. Lots of reasons for a mom to like a sport. But, he still wants to play football. At age 9, he’s about 55 pounds. I’m very opposed to this, but he and Dad keep working on me. Then, yesterday, a friend/client offered to let my son join his flag football team next year. I’m considering it, but I know what it will lead to. My husband keeps saying that my son’s size doesn’t matter – he’s fast and agile and coordinated. He is fast and agile and coordinated, but brute force still counts for something. I guess I’ll worry more about that later.