I read a great quote today: “He who angers you, conquers you.”
I completely agree.
That’s why the unpleasant young lady who attempted to anger me last night was unsuccessful.
How empowering. After all, life is too short and too precious to be bothered, angered, agitated, disrupted, distracted or otherwise engaged in silly stuff.
Before I became a mother (the BM years), I had my share of fears. My biggest fear was that my husband would be killed in a plane, car or helicopter accident. I couldn’t imagine life without him and the thought that he could be taken from me suddenly made me frantic. Sometimes his job requires him to ride in a helicopter, and I still insist that he call me before going up and immediately upon landing (I have a reasons for my helicopter issues, but that’s for another day). My point is, I thought I knew and understood what real fear feels like.
Then I became a Mom. And my ability to experience fear increased a hundred fold. I know all Moms harbor some form of the same fear — fear that something will happen to one of their children. Okay, let’s just say it — fear that one of their children will die. That’s even hard to type.
I could write pages and pages about the way this fear has caused me to behave or the decisions this fear has influenced in my life. But that’s probably not necessary. Here’s a a very condensed, brief summary:
I think it’s probably normal to have this fear as a mother. I mean really, what Mom has not worried about this at one time or another? But what I learned this week is that letting this fear control me isn’t only unhealthy, it’s damaging to my faith in God and it may even stand in the way of my destiny or the destiny of one of my children. That’s huge.
I’m currently doing Beth Moore’s Bible Study on Esther. This week’s session focused on fear. Here are some things that I heard, learned, loved, felt convicted by and wanted to share during this week’s lesson:
The most frequent command in the Bible is “Don’t Be Afraid.” – There must be a good reason for this. God doesn’t want us to be afraid and He commanded us NOT to be afraid.
I’m not saying that as a Mom, I should act irresponsibly or take my role as a protector of my children less seriously. I’m not saying that there aren’t times when I should prevent my children from doing certain things because I consider those things to be unsafe. If a friend or neighbor has a history of bad driving or driving under the influence of alcohol, then I should not allow my children to ride with that person. If another Mom doesn’t supervise her children effectively, then I shouldn’t allow her to watch mine. If I think a social gathering will involve more peer pressure or exposure to inappropriate activities than I think my teen is ready to handle, then I’m responsible for blocking her access to that social gathering.
But I AM saying that I’ve got to let go of the idea that I can control everything when it comes to the safety of my children. And I’ve got to let go of a fear to which I am often a slave. It is time that I trust God more completely and trust Him less conditionally.
I’ve prayed a lot this week for courage — courage to let go more and courage to trust more. So far, it’s been a “freeing” experience.
We’ve all experienced mean girls. And most/all of us have probably been mean girls at one time or another (or another, or another). Today, I got to listen to an amazing lecture on the subject of “mean girls” that really got to the heart of the matter for me as a mother.
As I’ve mentioned, I’m currently doing the Beth Moore Bible study, “Esther: It’s Tough Being a Woman”. During today’s video lesson, Beth (if you do one of her studies, you come to think of her as a friend and start calling her by her first name) really shared some insightful things about meanness, many of which were Bible-based. Some of my favorite thoughts were:
Okay — if you can’t relate to EVERY one of these sentiments, wisdoms, facts — whatever you want to call them — then you don’t have two X chromosomes. But there are probably a few that really strike a chord. For me, it’s the “coming in contact with a mean girl raises up your own mean girl.”
When I became a mother, I thought I’d inherently develop a tenderness and protection toward all children. And for the most part, that’s what happens — unless said child does something to one of MY children. Whoa! I did not know I could have such evil thoughts toward someone who hadn’t even reached puberty until a wicked little second-grader spread her meanness to my first born many years ago. My husband wasn’t even sure he knew the woman who expressed those somewhat-violent fantasies with him.
That’s why I was so thankful to hear Beth talk about a similar reaction in relation to one of her daughters and a nemesis. It’s helpful and healing to know that we’re not alone and that “coming in contact with a mean girl raises up your own mean girl.”
Still, that doesn’t excuse us when we act like mean girls, and it doesn’t excuse us when we simply have “mean girl” thoughts. So, I prayed for forgiveness for any mean girls thoughts I’ve had recently and not so recently. And I’m sure I’ll have to do so again – and again, and again. How about you?
Like most people, I have things in my past that I would gladly erase. But I try not to dwell on those things, and really believe there is value in the advice that says “Do not regret the past, nor try to shut the door on it.”
I got some help with my attitude in this area yesterday. I’m currently participating in the Beth Moore Bible Study at my church, “Esther: It’s Tough Being a Woman.” This is the second Beth Moore Study I’ve done, and while we’re only in week two, I can already tell it’s going to be a great one. I plan to share some of the great things I learn in the study here, and yesterday included these gems from Beth’s video lecture:
“You cannot amputate your history from your destiny. Never forget what God dragged you out of. Your past and your future share the same root.”
I was inspired by those words and I hope you are, too.
