New Mom Old Mom

I haven’t posted in awhile.  I got too busy.  Here’s the lowdown on my life the past few weeks:

• I found out our baby is breech AND big.  At 32 weeks, the doc was estimating her weight around 4 pounds.   Had an ultrasound at 33 weeks, and she had turned (which I suspected.)  But she measured 5 to 5/12 pounds. 

• I broke my elbow walking up the street from my son’s bus stop. I just tripped and landed on my hands and knees, but must’ve taken the full brunt of the fall in my right elbow (Guess what? I’m right handed). It was my first real broken bone (because I don’t count a toe and a tailbone).   I cried from the pain, but also from the fact that I was 34  weeks pregnant and had a broken arm. The ER put on a hard cast and hung a sling around my neck. That was on Friday.  It was a miserable weekend – I felt so handicapped.  But on Monday, the orthopedic specialist declared that the fracture was very minor and would not heal any faster in a cast.  He said if I were a child, he’d leave on the cast, but as an adult, the mobility is more important. He predicted a full recovery in about three weeks, but said if I fall again, if the pain gets worse, or if I don’t have full range of motion at the end of three weeks, to come back and he’ll do another X-ray.  I could have kissed him when he took that cast off.  The arm is doing better everyday, and as long as I remember not to lift anything heavy, turn a doorknob, etc., I don’t have much pain.

• I went for my 34-week OB visit, and my doc had a hard time finding the baby’s heartbeat. That was a few scary moments.  Then when he found it, it was very faint.  To reassure both of us, he took me back to the ultrasound room, and we discovered that my daughter flipped AGAIN!  So, back to breech position.  This time, I’m not going to worry.  If she can turn once, she can turn again, right?

• I announced at my work today that I’m not returning after my baby is born.  Our senior level account staff already knew this, but the “general population” did not.  Although, I don’t think anyone was surprised.  I stayed home with my first two children for 10 years as a freelancer.  And this is my LAST AT BAT.  So, it’s time to start reaching out to my former freelancing contacts, but I’m hoping my current company will be a main source of that work for me, as they were in the past.

• My 12-year-old daughter started cotillion two weeks ago. She hates it.  At least, she says she hates it.  It was a little awkward, because she wasn’t “asked to dance” in the first round of dancing, so she, along with about 10 other girls, went to the “stag” line to wait their turn.  Needless to say, there are more girls than boys in their session, so this will be a problem each week.  She vacillates between not wanting to be asked to dance, and also not wanting to be sent to the stag line.  I’m so glad I’m not 12! 

• My 9-year-old son started a fall golf league and loves it.  My husband says he’s doing really well.  I hate golf (too slow, frustrating) but am glad he likes it.  It’s safe. It doesn’t matter that he’s small. It’s gentleman-like.  Lots of reasons for a mom to like a sport.  But, he still wants to play football.  At age 9, he’s about 55 pounds.  I’m very opposed to this, but he and Dad keep working on me.  Then, yesterday, a friend/client offered to let my son join his flag football team next year.  I’m considering it, but I know what it will lead to.  My husband keeps saying that my son’s size doesn’t matter – he’s fast and agile and coordinated.  He is fast and agile and coordinated, but brute force still counts for something.  I guess I’ll worry more about that later.

With Mattel announcing yet another toy recall today, I got to wondering about the whole experience of garage-sale shopping.  I know the garage sale season is about over, but I can’t imagine having to carry a list of all those recalled toys along on what used to be fun garage-sale shopping days. 

My older kids used to love to have a few dollars in their pocket to take along on these journeys in order to buy a used toy here and there.  Plus, now that I’m older and wiser, I was figuring I’d probably be more sensible about toy shopping for this baby and plan to pick up some of her future toys at garage sales next spring.  Now that won’t be happening!  I’d be afraid of lead paint or some other danger.  I guess it’s no different from not buying a used crib, or a carseat from someone you don’t know, etc.

Here’s some advice – most pregnant women, if not ALL pregnant women, do not like to be told they are large any more than their non-pregnant counterparts.  In fact, if you cannot imagine saying something to a non-pregnant woman, it’s probably best to not say it to pregnant woman.   

Maybe I’m overly sensitive.  I had a weight problem in high school.  In college, I discovered better eating habits and I learned that exercise was definitely my friend.  So, with controlled eating and jogging 5-7 days per week, I can keep myself in a size 8.  BIG EXCEPTION – when I’m pregnant.  I AM NOT A SKINNY PREGNANT WOMAN.  I’m jealous of those women who are, wish I could be, but I’m learning to accept this fact about my body.  I gained 50 pounds during my first pregnancy, and it took me about eight months to get back into all my clothes.  I gained about 30 pounds during my second pregnancy, and it took me four months to get back into all my clothes. 

I will not discuss my weight while I’m pregnant.  I’m trying to enjoy this pregnancy, since it is absolutely my last.  But it’s hard when some insensitive #%&wipes say things like, “Wow.  Are you sure you’re not further along?”  Or, “You’re huge.”  Or, “You’re about ready, aren’t you?”  Or, “Did you get this big in your previous pregnancies?”

My husband says, “You’re pregnant.  Don’t take it personally.”  My friend says, “People think you won’t take it wrong because you’re pregnant.”  So here’s my question:  If I were to walk up to a woman who is 50, and say, “Wow.  You’re really getting wrinkles,”  would that be acceptable because she’s 50?  I mean, after all, you’re supposed to get wrinkles when you’re 50, right?  Isn’t this the same logic? 

I have a sharp tongue, but pride myself in being able to control it a little better the last few years, due to maturity and a few other factors.  However, I’m really considering letting loose.  Really I am. Maybe in response to the “Wow, you’re huge” comments, I should say, “Man alive, you’re ugly.”

All I can say is Wow!! We had our 3D Ultrasound on Tuesday night, and it was amazing. We really enjoyed the experience, and I’m so glad we did it. The folks at Precious Preview in Belleville were very nice to us and we got some great pictures. 

Our 9-year-old son seemed to really dig the whole experience. Our 12-year-old daughter was interested but in a “cool, distant” sort of way. She seemed a little embarrassed by the whole thing, and could NOT believe that I uploaded the pictures to my Flickr account so I could share them with friends and family. I mean, after all, I won’t let her have a Facebook page! Still, both kids wanted to take pictures of their baby sister to school the next day, and my daughter does seem flattered or excited about the fact that we’re all commenting on how the baby’s pictures look like her baby pictures.Now I really cannot wait. Just 63 days until the “tentatively scheduled induction.” Maybe I’ll get lucky this time and go a few days early on my own. Probably not, but maybe.

So my husband and I decided that it would be fun to have one of those fancy ultrasounds with the DVD and pictures and all. My OB suggested not getting one until after we’d had our “medical” ultrasound, claiming that if there is anything wrong, it’s scary to see it in full color, 3D/4D imagery. Plus, he said, something can look a lot worse than it is on those screenings. So, we took his advice, had our medical ultrasound and everything is fine.We began looking into the facilities that offer these “fun” ultrasounds, and discovered that one in Creve Coeur, MO has closed its doors. We found another one in O’Fallon, MO called Ultrasona, so we called. We got a recorded message stating that their summer hours are Thursday, 5 p.m. – 9 p.m., Saturday, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Monday, 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. We left a message. No one called us back. We left another message, and no one called us back. Last night, we decided to drive to O’Fallon (about 20 minutes from our home) and “walk in.”

I’m so lucky.  Today, my girlfriend found her Medela Pump in Style Breast Pump that she had stored for five years or so, and she gave it to me.  So, cross that item off the list of “Babies Products that I need.”  I do, however, have to buy the kit that includes the tubing, collection bottles, breast suction cups, etc.    I’ll probably buy it at my new favorite store, Kangaroo Kids.

Amazingly, it looks like that kit is going to cost about $50.  But, considering it would cost me about $250 to buy this Medela pump new, I think I’m doing okay.

I also asked my pediatrician the other day what type of electronic/digital thermometer he recommends.  He told me to buy two of the cheap, digital ones from Walgreens — one for under the arm, and the other to use in the baby’s bottom.  He said the ear thermometers shouldn’t be used on an infant less than four months old, and that they are seldom very accurate, anyway.  I was really surprised at his answer.  Then he went on to tell me that the plain old mercury thermometer is really the best bet for either end of the baby.  I already have those, so maybe I’ll just purchase a pair of cheap Walgreen’s digital thermometers and call it a day on that front, too.

I’ve been looking at  baby monitors, and there are just too many from which to choose.  Any suggestions?  I also need to buy a cradle mattress (my cousin is loaning me a beautiful wooden cradle).  Slowly, but surely, I’m getting ready. 

At 28 weeks pregnant, I’ve had to give in and accept the fact that my favorite Victoria’s Secret $50 IPEX bra isn’t really fitting anymore. While I’d love to just buy another IPEX, that doesn’t make any sense, since I plan to breastfeed this baby. So, it was time to go shopping for nursing bras.I decided to start at Kangaroo Kids, which is a children’s resale store and so much more. I’ve actually bought a lot of my maternity clothes there second-hand. And while there, I noticed that they bill themselves as a “Maternity Support Center.” I knew they had a huge line of nursing bras, and when I visited there previously, I heard the owner, Sierra Cortazzo, talking about an underwire nursing bra. I was thrilled to find out that there is such a thing, being that I am, shall we say, blessed in that area, so flimsy, inexpensive bras don’t work for me.Sierra spent a lot of time helping me, and actually discouraged me from the underwire nursing bra at this time, because she ways that while an under wire is okay when you’re nursing, it has to fit perfectly, so she suggests buying it after your milk has come in. She went ahead and let me try some on, but in the end, I took her advice. After all, they’re expensive and I’d hate for it not to fit in a couple of months.

Being pregnant at 40 offers me some perspective that I didn’t have when I was pregnant with my first two children (in 1995 and 1998).  That perspective has been particularly helpful in the area of baby merchandise. 

One of the first things people asking me when I announced this pregnancy was, “Did you keep anything?” Well — I kept the baby furniture (thought I’d want it for grandkids someday).  I also kept the saucer, stroller and pack-and-play (which were helpful when my nephews visited).  Other than that,  I didn’t keep anything save for a few articles of clothing that I stored in a box labeled “clothes I cannot part with.” 

One wise neighbor with three very young children of her own told me that when you have children later in life, you realize that all you really need is a crib and diapers.  I love that concept, but it’s probably over-simplifying things a bit.  Still, I haven’t been tempted to buy as many gadets, pretty accessories, or other non-essentials just because the “baby marketers” say I need them. 

Yesterday, a friend asked me what I need.  So, I decided to make a list of items that I think are “must haves.” Maybe in a future post, I’ll write about the items that will be “helpful or fun, but not necessary.” 

Here’s my list of must-haves:

Nursery bedding -  (already ordered it from beyondbedding.com -  http://www.beyond-bedding.com/boutique-french-toile-sage-designer-crib-baby-bedding-nursery-set.html)   I did discover that all the cutesy stuff that I found so adorable as a younger mother just wasn’t working for me as a 40-year-old who has defined her decorating style a little more.  So, this sage greenFrench toile was a perfect option for me. (Did I mention I’m having a girl?)

Swing — I know how helpful these can be with babies who are comforted by them, but I also know how short-lived their usefulness can be.  So, I bought an adorable one at a resale shop called “Once Upon a Child” http://www.ouac.com/ouac/myheadline.asp?S=7322&P=4225&PubID=4339  I got it for $50, and it retails at target for $139. http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/sr=1-1/qid=1185303488/ref=sr_1_1/601-0297648-8284971?ie=UTF8&asin=B0001IU5HY

Breast Pump - I nursed the first two until they were 12 months and 14 months, and plan to nurse this one. I love it.  It’s one of the best parts of being a mom.  But a good breast pump is essential.  I’m still shopping for one.  I had a simple Medela model back in 1995, and it had its limitations.  And I recently saw an ad for a new Playtex model for under $100.  I’m hoping they’ve drastically improved over the years. Any advice?

Infant Car Seat - Bought one with two bases from a friend. It’s dark in color, which I think is essential, since so much gets on them that they’re impossible to keep clean. But, I’m pining for one of those stroller/carseat combos.  I just can’t justify the expense, since I still have my stroller that is in all but perfect condition. Plus, I wonder if it’s worth it, since they outgrow the infant car seats, but don’t outgrow the stroller.  Again, I’d be open to thoughts.

Jogging Stroller — as a distance runner who has completed two marathons and who plans to be back to training within weeks of birth (I hope/pray), I will definitely need a high quality jogging stroller.  I had a “lower quality” jogger with my first one, and a decent quality double jogger when I had Baby No. 2, but this time around, I hope to get a delux model.  Of course, babygirl won’t be able to “jog” with me until spring, so I’ve got a few months to research this item.

Baby Monitor — boy are there tons of these to choose from these days.  I don’t know where to start, and may end up buying one used.  I think I could do without one if I still lived in a ranch-style house, but with a two-story that includes a finished basement with my office a treadmill, I think this will be an essential.  Graco, Fisher-Price and Safety 1st seem to dominate this market, and I’m guessing they’re comparable.

Baby Miscellaneous

• infant gowns (much more user friendly at 2 a.m. than sleepers); binkies (I had one thumb-sucker, and will try to avoid it if possible);
•  a few soft, cuddly blankets (I’m partial to Gymboree — http://www.gymboree.com/shop/dept_item.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524445967648&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306231082&bmUID=1185304783755&productSizeSelected=0 I love the feel of them, although I recently visited an online site that offered Carter’s blankets (which have a similar feel for less money) http://www.bugaboopark.com/product.php?pid=1118  
• cloth diapers (for burping, messes, NOT for wearing.  I did the cloth diaper thing for a few weeks back in 1995.  NOT doing it again –ever!)
• baby music (tapes or CDs to play and sing along with during the bedtime routine.  I really think it helps establish a routine that can soothe a baby, and it’s easy to take that part of the “routine” on the road, making travel much more enjoyable. I had a tape that I loved years ago with all the baby lullaby classics, but I can’t find it, or a tape-player to play it in. So, I’m in search of some new baby CDs with a similar songlist)

I’m sure I’m forgetting lots of things, but these are the items that come to mind right now.  I welcome any thoughts/advice on this must-have’s list.