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I received a letter in the mail today from my daughter’s middle school that really bothered me. Here is the text of the body of the letter in italics and my thoughts on each section:
Our records indicate that your child has been absent 5 excused days this semester.
Note the word “excused.” She missed three days for her participation in swim meets and two other days for family travel or illness. This is a kid who attends swim practice six to eight times per week, sometimes getting up for 5:30 a.m. practices before school and then returning to the pool for 5 p.m. practices after school. This is a kid who has time management skills that some college students haven’t achieved. This is the same kid who voluntarily stayed after school a few weeks ago to do an algebra review with her teacher because she was going to miss the in-class review due to an out-of-town swim meet.
Regular attendance is a significant factor in student acheivement and success at school. As you know, your child needs to be in the classroom to benefit from daily instruction. Research has continually shown the correlation between attendance, achievement and student learning.
Really? My daughter has been recognized all three years in middle school for having a 4.0 GPA at the end of the first semester — including this year. She takes all challenge courses and is in an advanced/compacted language arts course. The lowest GPA she has achieved for any given quarter is 3.75. Her standardized test scores typically land her in 99th percentile in language arts and in the high 90’s in all the other subjects. She took the ACT last year as a 7th-grader and scored a 21 without having had any high school language, math or science courses. I am not worried about her achievement or student learning — at least not at this point in her education.
We do realize that student illness and family emergencies may prevent a child from attending school. However, we want to make you aware of the number of school days that your child has missed.
My understanding of district policy is that the absences wouldn’t have been marked as “excused” if I hadn’t contacted the school about them. Therefore, of course I AM AWARE of the days she has missed. So why was the letter really sent?
Rockwood School District Policy states that any absence in excess of eight days in one semester will require further home/school communications. This is initiated through our district social worker. Our district social worker can provide a variety of resources and assistance as necessary.
Is the school REALLY threatening the intervention of a social worker for a straight-A student who has never had any discipline problems at school, who is recognized for her grades and other school achievements, and who certainly contributes in a positive way to the school’s averages on the standardized tests? And what are these resources and assistance that she might need? Perhaps they could be utilized by a student who needs them?
We appreciate your support as we work together for your child’s education. If you have any questions, please call the school office . .
cc. Student File
cc. Counselor
I love the cc info at the end! In other words: “This is going in YOUR FILE!”
I promptly fired off an email to the school’s administrators. The gist of that email was what I wrote above, plus this:
“We certainly value her education and place a high priority on school. But we also think learning to manage her time in such a way that she can maintain a 3.8 to 4.0 GPA and still spend 12 to 16 hours a week in the pool is a good life skill.”
Reiza said,
March 30, 2009 @ 11:04 pm
I recently read about a school district that sent a family a letter chastising the parents for the daughter’s numerous absences. The daughter had passed away a few months earlier. They sent a letter to a dead girl’s parents to complain that the child wasn’t in school. Ugh.
Why in the world do they include that letter in your daughter’s file? That makes no sense. If they’re worried about the child falling behind from too many absences, wouldn’t the child’s grades speak for themselves?
I hope this gets cleared up and I hope you get some sort of response.
Dana said,
March 31, 2009 @ 7:25 am
Michelle – We also love the Rockwood school district but are having difficulty with some of the “Policies” that the district inforces. Our son has been “bullied” this entire year by 3 individuals. On Friday, he was pushed past his breaking point and struck back – hitting one of the kids 2 times. Of course, no one saw the incident and nothing was reported. I took him to urgent care to make sure his hand was not broken – no, it only has a possible fracture.
I went to the middle school administration Monday morning to report what was going on and express our frustration (you see – I had reported other similar issues to two of his teachers duriing parent-teacher conferences earlier this semester). After their investigation, the “offenders” were dealt with AND, our son received 2 days of out-of-school suspension! Are you kidding me!!???? WE were the ones who brought this to their attention and they suspend him for defending himself against kids who were bullying him! Where is the justice in this? My husband is LIVID and on the rampage with administration.
We also received a letter about the incident and giving details about the suspension. Nothing was mentioned in this letter about the self-defense on his part or the bullying he has been subject to all school year. AND its’ going in his file! So when someone looks at this letter during his high school years, they will be under the impression that he just ‘became andry and punched another student during pe” – that maybe he’s a hothead and unable to control his emotions.
Needless to say, this is far from being over!
newmomoldmom said,
March 31, 2009 @ 7:42 am
I am so sorry. I happen to know your son is a delightful kid. The “No Questions Asked” policy about suspending EVERYONE involved in a physical confrontation bothers me, too. As the mother of a son who is small and who is likely to remain small throughout high school, I anticipate that he is going to have to defend himself physically in order to ward off those bullies in the coming years. As much as we’d all like to live in this Utopia where no one fights, sometimes a young man has to stand up for what is right. We’ve told our son that “You are not to initiate anything, and we prefer that you don’t throw the first punch, but if you are operating within our value system and you end up in a fight that results in getting suspended from school, we’ll back you up.” I don’t want him to NOT defend himself because he’s afraid of suspension and then end up hurt himself because he left his arms at his side due to Rockwood’s policy.
And the whole bullying thing has gotten ridiculous. They hold all these “don’t dent my can” programs, which would be a good thing if there was any true follow-through. But it’s like they’re holding the programs to justify some line item in a budget or meet some Federal grant requirement, and then there’s no real action where it matters. My daughter comes home from school telling me stories of horrible verbal/social abuse to a kid in one of her classes and the teacher is aware of it and does nothing. I’ve told her to try to be the one bright spot in that young man’s day — even if it’s just a smile or a look of sympathy. No one who knew what had come before would blame this young man for really pounding his abusers.
This sounds all “James Bondish,” but maybe you should arm your son with a small digital voice recorder. I’ve got one that I use in interviews and it can pick up sound from inside my purse — it’s happened by accident. Proof of what he endures at the hands of these derelicts might be just what you need! Good luck.
Mistie said,
March 31, 2009 @ 8:54 am
This situation is just ridiculous. Good for you (and to commenter Dana, too) for responding to bureaucratic blustering with gracious but firm responses. I have a feeling your children will learn more from this life lesson – and the integrity y’all showed in staying true to your values and principles – than those days missed in the classroom.
swimclubmom said,
April 6, 2009 @ 8:57 pm
We recently had the same experience with bullying and the Rockwood School District administration. Our son and his friends were bullied for months on the bus. Finally one day, my son snapped. As in your case, our letter mentioned nothing about the events that led up to the incident. Several neighborhood parents called and emailed the school in my son’s defense. I asked that those emails, as well as mine – be included in his file.
institutrice said,
April 18, 2009 @ 10:44 pm
We have the same problem at my elementary school with letters going out for attendance. I have a student with a chronic illness, and his mom always sends a note from her or the doctor. I never turn his name in to the attendance committee, and neither does the principal, but the committee got his name on a list from the secretary and keeps sending nasty letters about missing school. (This boy is brilliant, like your daughter, and is the only one who makes up work in my class when he is absent.) If the committee had bothered to talk to anyone who actually knows this kid, he wouldn’t have to feel bad about being sick.
Bureaucracy!!!
momtotwokids said,
May 13, 2009 @ 5:50 pm
Dana – Did you resolve the suspension issue with Rockwood school administartion?
I find myself in the same situation today.
newmomoldmom said,
May 14, 2009 @ 7:07 am
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